No Satisfaction: She Can Bring Herself to Orgasm, but Her Boyfriend Cannot
She’s a young woman who wants good sex, and a lot of it. Eager to satisfy her boyfriend, she often performs oral on him and gets the same in return, but without as much vigor. He in fact complains when she does orgasm because she squirts. Intercourse doesn’t bring satisfaction because of his large penis. To add further frustration, she easily orgasms during masturbation and now wants the same from sex.
Case #: 1107
Concern：
I am a young female looking for some answers. I can masturbate myself to orgasm both by playing with my clit and G-spot. I find myself turned on a lot and want my boyfriend to give me good sex. I perform orally on him and he does the same on me other than not wanting to put his fingers in because when I orgasm I squirt a lot. He said it is like giving head to a guy and having him shoot off on your face. I do not have an orgasm at all when he uses his penis on me. Don’t get me wrong, he is quite big – about 9 inches long and as round as a silver dollar. But it just does nothing for me, and I know I am tight enough to feel it. Just my little fingers going in and out of my vagina feel better. Could he be too big to give me pleasure, or is there something he or I can do? I want to feel him in me when I cum. I have tried being on top, but I tend to go too far down on him and hurt myself. Then the whole night is ruined.
Discussion：
Because you can reach orgasm during masturbation, it sounds like your problems stem specifically from sex. Believe it or not, many women suffer sexual dysfunction that prevents them from reaching climax with a partner. Much of that dysfunction relates to intercourse because so many females need stimulation beyond vaginal penetration. Sometimes, however, it can be difficult to translate that need to your man.
The Link between Sex and Emotional Health
Before talking any further about sexual dysfunction, it must be said that physical pleasure is derived from the brain. This means emotional satisfaction must come before sexual gratification. Because your boyfriend is reluctant to take the measures necessary for you to orgasm, and verbally expresses his distaste for the way you climax, you might feel something is lacking in the bedroom. If that’s the case, you won’t be able to orgasm with him until your relationship reaches a healthier state.
Sex must be an act that is reciprocated. Both partners must want to satisfy each other for it to be truly enjoyable. Lovers also need to feel safe with each other; their emotions must be tended to even as their bodies are pleasured. At this point you need to speak with your boyfriend and tell him his comments are hurtful. You must also communicate your needs in the bedroom, including whether a specific touch, more romance or gentle nips will bring you to orgasm. He’s deriving pleasure from sex – you should, too.
Enjoy His Penis
Another common problem with intimacy is lack of lubrication. Many women don’t get wet enough before intercourse to enjoy it, meaning that even if your boyfriend perfectly hits your G-spot you won’t orgasm. Wanting sex isn’t necessarily the same as being properly prepared for it. For this reason, the two of you need to engage in long, slow bouts of foreplay. Have him gently rub your clit and tease you with long kisses to ensure you want nothing more than a steamy romp in the sheets.
You describe his penis as quite big, so the two of you need to experiment with the best positions for intercourse. Some women like to be on top because they can control the speed and depth of penetration. If this doesn’t work for you, feel free to try new positions that bring you the most pleasure. Have him sit in a chair while you straddle him, take a shower together or even do the tried-and-true missionary. Just remember you might have to use additional lube throughout intercourse to supplement the ups and downs of what your body produces.
Overcoming Insensitivity
Getting back to the issue of sexual dysfunction, some women do not orgasm during sex because of nerve damage to their clitoris and/or G-spot. This can be the result of many different factors, including excessive masturbation. Simply put, the nerves in your genitals are designed to withstand only so much stimulation. Exceeding what your body can handle causes desensitization, which in turn impacts your ability to orgasm.
One of the best ways to naturally intensify orgasms is with a botanical formula. (SEE: Intensifying Formula for Orgasms) Blended with such herbs as Milk Thistle and Bupleurum, the formula expels toxins from the body that can interfere with sexual functions. It also improves blood flow to the genitals to heighten arousal and sensitivity. Working on your body from within will rejuvenate your love life so you can enjoy sex with total abandon.
What to do
Botanical Formula to Detoxify & Intensify Orgasms
Environmental toxins and metabolite bypr